Thirty years of ADD-vance - a conversation
between Anne and Debbie
In very same kitchen which saw the start of ADD-vance 30 years ago, Anne, the founder of ADD-vance, and Debbie, our current CEO, came together to talk about the past, the present, and the future of neurodiversity support.
While Anne stepped down in 2020, seeing the charity she started as her baby finally fledge, her original mission remains the heartbeat of everything we do.
1996: A World Without Google
When Anne first began looking for support in 1996, the world was a very different place. “Thirty years is a long time in my memory,” Anne reflects. “Back then, you couldn’t Google stuff. There were no books here – the first book on the subject was sent from America by a friend of my sister.”
For Anne, the inspiration to start ADD-vance wasn’t a grand plan to start a charity; it was a desperate need for survival as a mother of three boys. “My youngest son was in absolute chaos with nursery, and then school. I had my family and my husband, but when it came to the day-to-day dealing with things, I thought I was the only one out there. It felt really lonely.”
The turning point came when someone from a local parent partnership gave out Anne’s home phone number – something that “today wouldn’t happen!” A parent, who was looking for support, rang her for advice, and Anne had a revelation: “I thought, Oh, somebody thinks I know something! Then I realised I’d been in this long enough to realise I really do know something.”
The Cold Church Hall
ADD-vance began as a support group in a cold church hall in Potters Bar. “There were about four or five of us,” Anne tells Debbie. “I realised I wasn’t on my own. What started as a “sit and chat” group soon evolved.
Operating out of Anne’s home, the helpline was launched in 1999 after it became clear that parents didn’t just want “experts” – they wanted to talk to someone who has walked in their shoes. The telephone number used for the helpline is the very same one that we have today.
Anne and the early team realised that families needed more than just a cup of tea and a chat; they needed skills to help them support their neurodivergent children, and help them navigate an education system which isn’t designed for them.
This then led to the introduction of specialist coaching, funded by a small grant that allowed the charity to truly start empowering parents.
Smashing the “Crystal Ball”
Debbie and Anne discussed the “crystal ball mentality” – the way in the past some professionals would predict a child’s limits based on behaviours or a diagnosis. Anne shares a moving story of a professional who once “condemned” her son to a future in prison when he was just seven years old.
“I thought, no way. It made me stronger,” Anne says. “I’m quite challenging – I suppose it’s the ADHD in me! I said, ‘No, not my child.'”
Today, her son is 35. Anne proudly shares that he drives, works in a full-time job, has a long-term girlfriend, and has a mortgage. “And cats!” she adds. “Some parents ask if their child will ever drive or have a mortgage because of a diagnosis. Well, my son has all of those things. Crystal ball? No chance.”
“The Inspiration is You”
For Anne, success isn’t just about the big milestones. It’s the small, hard-won victories that Debbie and the team still celebrate today.
“I also love it when parents get certificates. I say, put it on the wall! If you’re putting paintings of your children up, put yours up too, so they can appreciate what you’ve achieved. Sometimes parents are forgotten.”
“If we can give the parents the tools, the support, and the motivation to keep going when times are hard, that’s when ADD-vance is at its best. The inspiration is you.”
Looking to the Future
Anne is open about her own ADHD, noting that as a “mature person,” she now enjoys letting her inner child out to express herself. While she admits she’s not a business person and found when she was CEO of ADD-vance the small print and policies a challenge, she is incredibly proud of what she achieved and how Debbie and the team have taken the lead.
“I’m proud that ADD-vance has fledged. It’s a wonderful organisation run by wonderful people doing amazing things,” Anne says. As for the next 30 years? Anne doesn’t believe in crystal balls for charities, either. “Today we live, today we manage, and tomorrow we plan.”
Her parting message to the parents of today is a simple one:
“Take a break. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary. Even if it’s a five-minute sit-down with a cup of tea you’ve reheated three times – or just drink it cold!”
You may also be interested in...
Be part of our 30th celebrations – we have a range of exciting events taking place across the year!
Read about the history of ADD-vance, from the early days of a small gathering in a cold church hall to where we are now.
Find out how you can support ADD-vance, from donations and fundraising to supporting us through your weekly shop there are plenty of ways to get involved!
