Karen's story
When Karen’s eldest child was diagnosed as autistic in 2010, it came as a surprise. At the time, her understanding of autism was limited – “all I really knew was what I’d seen in Rain Man.” Karen found that finding information about Autism was limited, and day-to-day life was becoming more challenging. Desperate to help her child, and to understand what they were experiencing, Karen reached out and one of the organisations that responded was ADD-vance.
After signing up for a one-to-one coaching session in a school, Karen and her family gradually became more involved with the charity. She attended workshops and courses and increased her understanding of her child’s diagnosis. She joined a course for parents of teenagers, a course that, made sense.
In 2017, her younger child was also diagnosed autistic. That same year, Karen received her own diagnosis – bringing clarity and understanding to so many of her life experiences. ADD-vance, Karen says, changed the way she saw both herself and her children. Instead of viewing challenges through the lens of “right” or “wrong”, she learned to understand them as responses to barriers and expectations.
“ADD-vance gave me the confidence to support my children in the ways they needed, not the ways society told me I should.”
Soon after, a member of the ADD-vance team asked whether she would consider becoming a trainer. Karen went on to contribute to the writing and delivering of training workshops and courses, support team meetings, and work as a coach. Today, as well as coaching parents and carers at ADD-vance, Karen works in a variety of roles elsewhere as part of her social enterprise. She has a particular interest in the disproportionately poorer outcomes faced by neurodivergent people. Much of this path, she feels, was shaped by what she learned through ADD-vance. She is also studying for a PGCE in Autism at Sheffield Hallam University. One of the most meaningful aspects of her involvement has been meeting other autistic and ADHD people.
“Connecting with people like me, people who have experienced life the way I have, was incredibly powerful,”
Karen says. “People like us have a right to feel passionately about change for neurodivergent people.” She believes that families deserve to be heard, and that organisations and systems have a responsibility to do things differently. “It’s not enough to simply be grateful for help,” she adds. “I realised I have a right to demand change.”
April is Autism Acceptance Month and Karen reflects on what it means, and what it should become. “When I think about young people and how difficult they can find accessing education, She speaks about the inventions, breakthroughs, and discoveries created by neurodivergent people throughout history. “We are vital to human society.”
For Karen, Autism Acceptance Month is rooted in empowerment. Success, she believes, will come when the month becomes a celebration of everything it means to be autistic, when the insights of autistic people themselves guide organisations and systems, and when those in power listen and act.
We need more than awareness, ultimately, we need pride in autism.”
Karen highlights what acceptance really is for her – it is for neurodiverse identity to be embraced with a sense of pride, and for an end to the notion that these identities are problematic or unwelcome. After all, it is in the alternative styles of thinking, expressing and experiencing the world that society has benefited from what this valuable community has created across the life of human kind.
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Find out how you can support ADD-vance, from donations and fundraising to supporting us through your weekly shop there are plenty of ways to get involved!
Be part of our 30th celebrations – we have a range of exciting events taking place across the year!
Read about how our founder, Anne Ross started ADD-vance and the highs and lows she faced along the way!
This year at ADD-vance we are proud to be celebrating our 30th anniversary.
To read more stories from people we have supported across the last three decades, learn how the charity started and ways that you can get involved please click on the link below.